perhaps it’s due to the xmas time: czech tv brought us some czech films that has co-produced some time ago. it was kytice – a visually stunning movie, but probably no chance to understand it if you didn’t read the poems (it’s based on a classical czech book). and then i’ve seen today babí léto. a wonderful piece: it’s about being still young and crazy in age of 76 :) (here some english info).
not enough good news. my all time favourite musician jacek ‚falcon‘ dojwa get together with dj patricia and their co-project named husky is doing really well. recently they released their first album called ‚czy słyszysz‘. i hope to have my hands on it quite soon :)
yes, the gifts :) i read the ‚the sandman: preludes and nocturnes’ (here’s some english and czech info). it’s more than great. originally in colors, but in czech version only b&w – and that makes it even more beautiful (tho sometimes it’s a bit too messy). wonderful. but you know what? i guess i don’t like christmas much ;-)
hey, why wait, why not waste the atmosphere. the city is covered in snow. the poem is here for you. not the brightest one, heh. and check out also my lady’s beautiful text… is it the christmas? nope. it’s us. but believe it or not: i’m very happy. i know i’m strange, but i really enjoy to love and to be loved – although sometimes i might seem blue or ‚distant away‘. thanks all for their xmas greetings… see you…
seems i didn’t express myself clear. not at all. and thus some of you might be confused. but i’m too tired to do it now… later on, that’s for sure… last three days were beautiful. and i can now burn cds myself :) finally! another poem written but i don’t want anyone to read it :] merry christmas…
exams. one fucked up, two tests ok. talking all the time with friends, but i guess it is becoming a little bit dangerous. i should stay home for a while. let the others live thier fates and don’t mess up with it :|
strange weekend. full of wicked mood and i scared some people – and i didn’t want to. i met some people i didn’t intended to. i should have learned and i did not. i feel stupid. would like to lie and have another cig and think of nothing… or to be with the most desired person (aka „luv u“ – listening to it right now thanks to my favourite player, mr. jacek ‚falcon‘ dojwa). i miss her like crazy.
some might think that my life is becoming too odd. that i seem to be changing. i doubt it. it’s just an impression. i remember what i said, and not only: i think of it. it’s just the circumstances. next week is going to be really tough with all the exams and tests. there’s also a meeting with the teachers about the nsir project. but this was… interesting week.
the very late tuesday night i was zonked out (no narcotics! just a strange condition), thinking of marriage before i finally drifted off. then on wednesday we celebrated dad’s birthday – he’s 50 today. it was really nice atmosphere and i was happy for it. in the evening i and marjánka went to see the film no man’s land. a wry comedy… image of the war in bosnia. could be used as an addition for the ‚global solutions of armed conflicts‘ course i attended this autumn. we discussed the bosnia and the unprofor too… and some more fun yesterday: marjánka intended to go home in the evening by train, she thought it’s leaving at 19:08 – and it was 19:02. because we reached the railway station just on time, we saw the train is leaving just now – we hurried to the platform, i jumped inside the train but she was lacking few steps behind and was afraid to jump :) so i jumped off the yet speeding up train… it was almost like in a movie, you know :)
yes i do.
things just turn into nonsense, life as an absurd play mixed with soap opera and they want you to behave serious! reasonable! hehe, pretty silly.. and then you feel uneasy.. doing something you really hate. i still have the music and the sun shine. outside it’s freezing cold – and i’m going to a polish party: to play my part. act like i like it. which is of course a lie: i don’t like it at all and i wouldn’t go there, but that would be even worse because of my polish teacher that couldn’t go there alone – we gotta be there to help her out agains her rivals… stupid? you bet! and that’s just one but symptomatic point. so some downtempo here and there and the dreams of next year. get out of this town. will try to learn slovenian next year – at least i’d like to…
love to my lady…
2:30 AM. the time to go sleep. but not for me. i wish i could foresee the things… but what would i do anyway? the only fact i’m sure of: it never happened to me before. i’m confused, i’m shivering, i can’t speak. it’s so strange to feel dizzy sometimes…
another entry today… i just would like to explain one thing: i really do appreciate that others feel for me. it’s good to have friends with a helping hand. but right now, please let me go and do what i should *myslef*. your readiness to help is very nice, but you can only make it worse, so please let it be for a while, ok? i don’t want to be cross on you… i like you all. i’ll be right back, ok? and then we talk…
oh man! i do not like my school now. i’ve registrated myself for the Bc exam in january (journalism) and decided on the theme of my Bc degree work on international relationships – the radical political movements and their influence on the polish foreign policy. lot of actions next week… we like it hot! ;-)
birthday parties – this week it was danny, mike and martin – it was a pleasure to celebrate with them. on tuesday there was a fancy ball of our school. our group dressed in historical costumes – cool. :)
today i would like to lie down by the sea… empty…
time of pursuit – once you reach the point, the point itself loses its value. and thus you have to make a new plan, new points to be reached. and you stay in the pursuit for something you can’t describe. why this? it’s so stupid to keep running till you’re done, not seeing the actual beauty all over. so … stop now. open your eyes. believe me, the world in your mind’s eye could be a better place. and everyone has a chance to find it out. and not only this. the possiblity to participate: just send a smile and let others smile too. i wonder whether i can do it. sometimes i doubt it. but this is the way out. how to face the cruel reality. i thought: or i have to go mad or i can escape it – some kind of runaway. which seemed to me pretty coward.
sometimes the spell makes you fell the void and you almost tremble. to touch the inner.
probably just talking silly. i didn’t sleep again. i feel such a lightness i almost cannot breathe. enchanted.
back home. the nsir project ended, or to be correct – its first phase. it was a strange week in prague, stuff has piled up more than ever. now i gotta take a long breath and do all the school work: the ultimate deadline – 2nd December. wondering about had happened to me recently. still feeling dizzy, not able to push myself to believe… also thinking about structure of this diary. i find it boring and conventional especially when compared with my friends‘ blogs. so maybe it’s about time to change it, to fill it with something more important. i don’t have a deep idea yet, but maybe i will find a way to express myself better.
and yes. shakul and luka had their birthday this week. congratulations. it’s great to know such interesting people. and i must thank you both for your support this week… without you both i and nsir would be in much worse conditions ;)
working full time on the nsir – nato summit independent report. right now i have a short break – waiting for the news to add them. these were exhausting days – from sunday – and we’re in the middle, the biggest actions yet to come. i and marjánka (she’s the one!) live by shakul and ufo, our prague friends. it’s nice, but i would beg for few moments of rest…
sleep sleep sleep. (i would if i could but i can’t so i won’t.)
while the NSIR project is just behind the corner and we all keep working like mad, the whole skylined family moved to a new home, moj.net.
i personally have gone through a major change too. what is strange? what is my future? will there be a house by the sea, where the sun plays with cats and the tender words are whispered into the night? or should i be afraid, because we all seem to be too fragile? is there a way to express myself really? only the time will show, but i feel a touch of optimism :) little tiffs of glenfiddich, single malt scotch whisky against the cold. and hope, the hope flying over the mountains that can bring you finally … home.
it’s 3AM. how to express what i’m going through? i can’t find the proper words. but i almost forget what does it mean to live in a fairytale… good night and sleep well… my … weasel? (the czech word „lasička“ is actually much much better.)
welcome to wonderland. :-)))) hmmmmm… might be…
the best possible end of the day. vosa soundsystem on good old fan favorit :) remember the new generation parties? i do :) also some hugs to my strangest princess!! and keep it up all!
a strange feeling. luka said: constelations running wild and he was definitely right. on wednesday morning i laughed for half and hour as completly stoned. i only didn’t sleep much. maverick people… or not? lets say different. and now i’m so happy though i feel a little bit silly too. i wonder whether i live a dream. it seems to me so, because everything is turning to show a surreal shapes. meanwhile in another space i still keep on preparing for nsir – nato summit independent report. thanks to the team and especially luka for the support.
today in our church we have guests from karviná – silesian evangelical church of the augsburg confession. it was really nice, they sing and even dance! some polish gospell songs :) in their parish they have worship in both czech and polish :)
playing transport tycoon. silly old game. i should do something useful. there’s plenty of work.
yesterday and today the municipal elections were held (along with the second round of senate elections). i voted (as usually) for the green party. a new system was introduced – the party had to receive 5% to get in the townhall. too bad i thought, because in 1998 the green recieved about 3% (and that was enough to have 1 seat). to my surprise, they recieve about 5,8%! just great :) our rector probably won, so that’s good too. i recieved a letter from egle (lithuania) yesterday, i also met mike and it was very nice small talk. the thursday night was spent in an interesting way too… preparing for the nato news, i made a preview of the web and it seems that other like it. hi on life i suppose.
this has been maybe the most intensive experience since august. ‚s kým skončila noc‘ – poem by j.e.frič and music by cs_zvuk. and a tea-room session with kasia in the afternoon. circle is closed, the uroborus snake got its tail again. a message sent on monday was the important one and i thank you all. what’s next? who knows. just don’t panic :)
added a poem to the ‚texts‘ section. added *lot* of stuff to the ‚gallery‘ section – all previous versions of my homepage and some other webs. had a strange feeling yesterday night.
zden’s visit was very nice: inspiration and good mood. on monday a report about usa foreign policy during the suez crisis and then wednesday concert. filip topol (the psí vojáci frontman) rocked the place! i had some bonus for me and marjánka – we went together and enjoyed a weird chain of all the coincidences… recieving messages from outside the czech rep. and then meeting our strange friends. very exciting evening. on thursday i saw a french film: it all starts today. and i discovered my new favourite actress: maria pitaressi – i must admit, that it’s mainly because i find her really beautiful. on friday i saw another movie – there’s a festival of polish films. i went to see ‚egoists‚. could be worse. then the concert of eost and the others. good. but i was stoned off my witts :] anyway, nice to see all the friends and such. so i don’t mind at all :) today there are senate elections in 1/3 of the country. the rector of our university got to the second round :)
btw. i added 5 articles to the ‚texts‘ section and corrected some of the links.
well. i finished the article about national minorities in latvia for the magazine ‚bariéry‘. also the school was hectic. yesterday i met by accident group of polish drummers and helped them to arrange a concert in the club fleda. zden will arrive on sunday. i need to talk with him about my bc degree work – the theme is netart (i had a session about it yesterday with d. kořínek, my teacher). next week there are two concerts i wanna go to. 1] psí vojáci on wednesday and 2] ecstasy of st. theresa (+ petr míkovec – he collaborated on the rachot project). and my congratulations to sofie! you definitely rule :)
oh well. guess there must be some reason, why i was silent for ten days? maybe it’s the weather which got worse – i’m feeling tired. but that’s what happened: i met regis and sarken (she’s now in brno, nice!), then there was a nice meeting with kombajn, benny & co, and tina on sunday. another session on tuesday: and the best one. with hanka, petra and vláďa – the people i was in taizé with. drinking french wine, eating biscuits, enjoying the photos… beautiful. then we went to skleněná louka where i should have met tomáš (the cs_zvuk played on 3rd on an opening of some exhibition). he wasn’t there, but we found people from the faculty – the taroc players and some others. marjánka (my schoolmate – her blog is cool – if you’re keen on stories about travelling and cats ;) was dead drunk, and it was great fun. smoking tobacco having no tobacco papers to roll a cig is another interesting experience. tomáš later came and jana j too. on wednesday bobotic gave me a book about computer viruses – almost half of the book = commented sourcecode. strange. i wouldn’t believe something like this to be normally availible. later in the evening there was a school party with lot of stum wine and our teachers :) when it was finished, we went to a pub with the boss of our departement. wow. and on thursday yet some weird stuff: reality hack. and i recieved a letter from egli (my lithuanian friend i met in france) – that cheered me up :) and that’s about everything. well, actually, there are some plans about the nato summit news-service, for example the output will probably published on skylined… thanks luka! and thanks flows to all my friends for their patience with me… :)
well – students from the ssees arrived, quite a strange group, but we had fun anyway, especially yesterday on the semester start party. today i’m going to meet regis and sarken. and the conspiration plans are working… affecting maybe your life as well ;)) there was a session because of the nato summit today, it seems really good – many people are going to join the team, our school will let us use the equipment… looking forward to it.
so. first days of school are behind us. what’s new? seems like a quite reasonable timetable (no school on thursday and friday), seems like quite enjoyable lessons… met again many friends – kasia looking great, lukash lost weight (25 kg!), marjánka celebrates her birthday on the same day as i do, bedni got some cds, kuba is keen on the woods and many of us will join the team and we are going to prepare some ‚real‘ news and reports from the planned nato summit in prague in november. on saturday, first of the english group should arrive to brno, the rest on sunday. some top top secret plans on their way as well. and i forget many many other things, that’s for sure. so you see? busy is the word. and yep: be sure to check this extremly true keynotes by lawrence lessig about the opensource (thanks to luka for this one!).
worked a lot last few days: the pages on knihomolna updated (adams, orwell, bulgakov, charms), i reworked the one about adams, checked all the links etc. also updated in a way my project page. met dan b. on wednesday morning: an interesting session!! the same day – but in the evening – another talk about all the forbidden things :) looks good… today met some of the schoolmates: the new semester begins tommorow. so the holidays are officialy over (it’s also the first day of autumn). but we like autumn, don’t we? i made some progress with the translation of the text about baltics – i’m behind the first half :| still better than nothing.
it was an interesting evening on monday… some ideas popped up: that’s what counts. today i met kasia. after long long three months. i wouldn’t believe i could survive such a long time not seeing her. well, i did. it was nice to be together for a while – i was afraid a little bit, but it turned out … ok. we’ll see…
some new stuff – few words for my taize page. sometimes it’s so easy to put a spell on yourself: don’t look what’s happening. close your eyes and dream about the bright future full of the goodness. yeah yeah. it works. but is it correct?
(‚today‘ – means 17th: it’s 18th 0:05 AM)
some brand new plans for tha future! wow!! get some dope energy of life today – and it seemed at first that it’s gonna be another day lost in the gray depth of melancholy (melanchol: a strange animal, that could bite you deeply). on tuesday i went to šuplík – a literature evening – again saw some friends, read three poems (i haven’t put them online yet – and i’m not sure whether i do it at all). met the friends with which i was in liběchov on wednesday – nice nice (btw. a first time i tried the gambling machines… catchy, i must admit). rap allstars on the way home – the nighttram as a perfect stage :] i also spoke with luka on icq after a long time. his thoughts are deep and i’m happy i can call him my elder brother. he proposed me to try trillian, an interesting program: icq, irc, aol, msn-messenger in one; for free, skinable and the instalation file is only 2.5 mb. another friend i rank very very high – zden from blava – will visit brno in about a month… and not to forget: i recieved a letter from egli, lithuanian girl i met in taizé :) more from .lt: arnas (a guy i met in palanga during the baltics trip) helped me with the prepared baltics expedition page – many many links about all the interesting places we visited :) i keep on translating all the time – but my english is poor and it takes time. sorry for the delays :| but meanwhile check the updated bibliotheca: 7 authors added, links added a/o corrected! (i’m going to a kinda conspiratorial meeting today. wish me luck.)
(and yeah – no comments? you don’t have anything to say? is it that boring?)
spend an evening in front of the tv screen – and it wasn’t wasted time! czech tv – it’s second channel – having an evening about racism: starting with the documentary by leo regan called 100% white – what happened to skinheads when they are 30 years old? freaky. following later with a documentary about john hron – a young swedish boy (his father is czech), who was killed by a group of nazis. reason? not really. they simply like to torture and kill.
thought about going to bed, but my father told me to watch another documentary – this time on a polish satellite station tvn. magazine called ‚superwizjer‚ was about (some of the) ecological movements – and their financial sources… the reporter with a hidden cammera was trying to give them money so they won’t protest against building transmitter stations. he succeeded. they took the money :| f**k it :(
well. arrived back on monday night, but haven’t time to write yet… sorry :] it was a hard work (i don’t like to work really, so for me it was even a stranger experience ;)) whole day working, whole evening drinking… great team – not only our group, but some international volunteers as well – thank you for helping us! it was nice to meet you all… now back in brno planning this and that and preparing slowly for school (unfortunatly it’s over the corner). i’ve recieved (finally!) some postcards – thank you all! i’ve also seen the taizé photos (would like to put at least some of them online soon) that made hanka & vláďa, really nice nice nice :) (i look like a complete idiot on some of them, but it’s at least funny :)